3 Things You Should NEVER Say to an Allergy Sufferer

**WARNING: Rage Language Ahead**

This is something that has been plaguing me for a long time and I’ve just never written it down. So, not only am I writing it all down, but I’m also writing it all down with all of my frustrations. I understand that I come off as a bitch in this list, but I kind of don’t care. I’m supposed to sound bitchy because I’m frustrated. I’ve been dealing with all of this for at least 15 years. 15 years is a REALLY long time. That’s 782 weeks, 5475 days, 131400 hours, etc, etc, you get the gist. IT’S A REALLY LONG FUCKING TIME! And since I still have allergies, I will most likely continue to experience all of this for the rest of my life. So, add on another 15+ years, and yeah, it gets old. I’m allowed to be frustrated. So, here it is. MY Top 3 List of Things You Should NEVER Say to an Allergy Sufferer.

  1. “I’m So Sorry!” “That Must Suck” “I could never be allergic to (insert allergen).” or some other false sympathetic statement.
    • I’m just going to stop you right now because I’m not getting any type of sympathy from you. We know the phrase, “I’m sorry.” is just a person’s default statement when it comes to something that they associate with a form of social disability. There are hardly any real feelings of understanding, just feelings of disappointment on your behalf that I can’t experience what you think it so great. For example, I can’t tell you how many times people have said, “I’m so sorry!” when I tell them that I’m allergic to nuts and it would kill me. The worst are the instant follow-up statements of, “I couldn’t be allergic. I’d die! I love peanut butter too much!” or, “I feel so sorry for you because you can never eat Nutella!” If I had nickel for every time I’ve heard some variant of these sentiments, I could buy a house. Seriously. It gets old. If you were really sympathetic, you would understand that we know and have probably heard people tell us the same damn thing over a million times. Plus, we know what we’re missing out on. Most likely, experiencing our allergen is what informed us of our allergies in the first place. It’s what almost killed us! For me, my nut allergy didn’t activate until middle school. Before then, I knew what peanut butter and Nutella tasted like, and guess what. I didn’t like either of them! I hated Nutella growing up because it tasted like pasty chocolate with a hint of hazelnuts and I was a chocolate purist. Chocolate over nuts and nuts ruined everything great about chocolate. As for peanut butter, turns out I was a nut purist too! I only liked peanuts roasted. No peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for me growing up. So when I found out I was allergic to nuts, guess what! I didn’t care! I wasn’t eating them anyways! World’s easiest adjustment in my life. The only difference is that, now, if I eat any of it, I’d die. So I just don’t, and I go the extra mile to avoid them. I’m not disheartened every time I have to go eat at a different restaurant that doesn’t fry everything in peanut oil. I just shrug my shoulders and move on. So, I don’t need or want your faux-sympathy because I don’t even feel it. I know what I’m “missing out on” and to be honest, I feel like I’m not missing out on anything at all. So, just don’t.
  2. “Have You Tried (insert some allergy relief drug/ technique)?”
    • *DRAMATIC EYE ROLL* “No, I’ve been living under a rock this whole time.” I’m sorry (not sorry), but please don’t go out of your way to try and educate me on something that you, personally, don’t live with. 10 times out of 10, I have already heard about it, researched it, tried it out, didn’t like it, and went back to my pill popping regimen all in one go. You see, I have this thing called the internet, and I’m sure you do too, where I can actually find information on whatever I’m interested in. I can do a quick search on allergy remedies, find the science behind each one, learn about the success rates and side effects of each one, and figure out if it can positively impact my lifestyle. I can also set up instant notifications on when new articles and studies are published about allergies, you know, since I am the one who actually has the allergies. So, please, if I don’t somehow utter the words, “Do you know any allergy remedies?” on my own, please, Please, PLEASE, don’t bring it up. I don’t need your help.
  3. “Why Not Go See a Specialist? It’ll make your life SO easier.”
    • Again. Just stop. If that was a viable option, don’t you think I would have done it by now? The fact that I don’t have the time or resources (or patience) to go to the doctor, make the follow up appointments, get the shots (suffer from the shots), and spend all that extra time trying to prevent something that might not work as effectively assumed in the first place, is the reason why I don’t go see a specialist. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, just stop. Keep That Shit TO YOURSELF.

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